Unseen, unsought, uncertain

Have you read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge? If not, it is a great read for women and men. I read an excerpt from the book today that really struck me again especially in light of all God has been speaking to me lately. He has been combating the feelings/emotions she mentions. Here, let me let you read it yourself -

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too mess. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.

After all, if we were better women - whatever that means - life wouldn't be so hard. Right? We wouldn't have so many struggles; there would be less sorrow in our hearts. Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them? Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or the courage to purse us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.

Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us - whether from a driven culture or a driven church - is: Try harder."

How true - we are pushed and prodded to do this or that or be this or that. I know I can relate to what she said...I've felt unseen, unsought and uncertain all in the last week! God has been shedding light on my heart and showing me His truth in regard to all of it. How thankful I am that while I may feel some of these things, I am NEVER unseen or unsought by the Lord. Of that, I am certain.