Missing a plain ol' pity party

I miss my old pity parties. Why? I'm sure you ask. As God continues to reveal my seemingly unending selfishness and self-righteousness, my pity parties have changed. I used to feel sorry for myself and dissect how everyone else was wrong. I usually ended up pretty proud of how I would never handle a situation that way or whatever. Now, just moments after I get out the party hats and streamers, God begins to bring to mind how I am in the wrong and how I should adjust my thinking, attitude, or actions to bring peace to the situation. This brings me to my knees seeking forgiveness and yet fighting my flesh which demands my rights be taken care of first. I end up exhausted at the end of these parties and usually not feeling all that great about myself; however, I know that I am becoming more like Him which is why I am keenly aware of my shortcomings. Catch 22...but definitely worth the loss of such "fun" parties!