Friends, as you can tell, posting isn't happening as often these days (it's been almost 2 months). This isn't because God isn't speaking to me or teaching me, but mainly a time issue. True, I have not been as faithful to Him as I desire, but will I ever? The truth of the matter is that I thought this was a good idea to separate my devotional thoughts from my other blog, but it hasn't panned out. With two small ones at home, time is fleeting and often something else wins over posting. And posting updates/pictures of the kids always wins over sharing my heart (you don't complain like family/friends when I'm silent!).
Anyway, I've found this second blog to be more of a stress factor lately than the relief it was in the beginning. There are times I want to share something, but don't know where to put it because my spiritual life is the center of my life. My family and schedule aren't separate from what God is doing - and yet it always felt weird to post something both places (like anything I have to say is THAT important). And simplifying is the current theme of life - for my sanity and the sake of my family.
So - I'm not doing away with this blog in case God calls me back to it again (I've learned never to say never); but for the time being, I'm closing shop. If I have something to share, I'll put it all on my original blog Just Thought I Would Share.
Thanks for "tuning in" -
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Name calling
From Encouragement for Today (an online devotional):
“To them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off.” Isaiah 56:5 (NIV)
God doesn’t see me as I am, He sees me as I can be. He doesn’t leave us as we are, but renews us with each new day. It isn’t what I am called, it’s what I am called to do. I must remember that so I can become what God has already determined I can be.
So often I get bogged down with what others have called me or what I call myself, but this writer reminds us of Peter (whose first name, Simon, means shifty) who was given a new name. Through this new name, God foreshadowed Peter's purpose. It hit me that my birth-given name means "case" - and I can be a true nut case and basket case. But God sees beyond that...He sees my potential and so desires to refine me into it. I agree that I must remember this so I don't get comfortable with the "names" I (and others) give me.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Returning to Holiness
My gaggle of gals and I are working (or should I say trudging) through a new book, Returning to Holiness by Dr. Gregory R. Frizzell. One of the subtitles says, "A Biblical Guide to Daily Cleansing" - and it ain't lyin'. The book calls us as believers to true repentance of 7 areas of sin: sins of thought, sins of attitude, sins of speech, sins of relationships, sins of commission, sins of omission, and sins of self-rule and self-reliance. And this is no "let's all acknowledge these things are wrong while rationalizing it away" kind of book. This guy asks some tough questions - questions that if answered honestly aren't always easy to stomach. We're only on the 2nd chapter and already I'm quite aware of my failure to glorify Christ almost every moment of my day.
But Dr. Frizzell encouraged us with wise words in the intro: "Let this cleansing process point you straight to Jesus and victory, not to yourself and defeat." I've clung to that sentiment a lot over the last two weeks, and Sunday I sang Jesus Paid It All with a renewed understanding of the words. "Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. O praise the One Who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!"
Anyway, I share all of that to help explain why an online devotional I read today meant so much. As I've been on my face before God over the last two weeks, I've often felt like we're talking about things we've covered a thousand times. I'm tired of battling the same things I've been fighting for years. And I wonder at what point will God tire of hearing me apologize again. This devotional from Encouragement for Today was just what I needed to hear. Maybe it's what you need to hear too.
But Dr. Frizzell encouraged us with wise words in the intro: "Let this cleansing process point you straight to Jesus and victory, not to yourself and defeat." I've clung to that sentiment a lot over the last two weeks, and Sunday I sang Jesus Paid It All with a renewed understanding of the words. "Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. O praise the One Who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!"
Anyway, I share all of that to help explain why an online devotional I read today meant so much. As I've been on my face before God over the last two weeks, I've often felt like we're talking about things we've covered a thousand times. I'm tired of battling the same things I've been fighting for years. And I wonder at what point will God tire of hearing me apologize again. This devotional from Encouragement for Today was just what I needed to hear. Maybe it's what you need to hear too.
Here I Am Again, Lord
By Melanie Chitwood
“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:14-16 (NLT)
Devotion:
I had resolved the previous week to be consistent in exercise and healthy eating. I had made this resolution many times before, only to revert to old patterns before the week’s end.
As I sat outside on the porch with my Bible and journal, I felt discouraged as I remembered the previous night’s overindulgence in, once again, my favorite chocolate chip cookies.
I wanted to have a quiet time, I wanted to talk to God in prayer and to read Scripture, but I felt somewhat ashamed. I thought to myself, Here I am again, Lord, with the same old problem. Aren’t you tired of me, Lord? I’m tired of me, so surely you must be, too. I’m tired of dealing with the same old problem over and over again.
Then God whispered to me, Talk to Me. Just pray and see what I can do. So I did. In the quietness of the morning, God reminded me of His thoughts toward me, not my own thoughts. God never gets tired of us, and His compassions are new every morning. As the verses in Hebrews 4 remind us, God understands. What comfort.
Better yet, as we look at today’s key verse we’re invited to “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.” Sometimes when I feel ashamed of myself, I am tempted to run from God rather than come humbly to His feet. I’m tempted to believe the lie that God is tired of me or has much more important issues to deal with. However, if I believe and act on these lies, I am missing out on the truth of whom God is and the reality of the kind of relationship He wants to have.
If I mistakenly believe that God is just tired of dealing with me, then I go away with just more of the same - more discouragement, more anxiety, more fretting. Worse yet, I’ll be missing out on what He is ready to give. I’ll miss out on His love, His grace, and His power.
Whatever problem we face, God’s very own power, the same power that raised Christ from the dead, is available to us. Our God is intimately acquainted with us, gracious and patient. He is ready to give all His resources to us, His children. Isn’t that amazing?
Let’s press on in truth and faith and “take the mercy, accept the help” (Hebrews 4:16 The Message). Then we’ll see what God can do with a heart that trusts Him.
Dear Lord, help me not to run from You when I feel ashamed or discouraged. Help me to believe that You always love me and are always ready to give me Your Help. Thank You for Your patience and Your lovingkindness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
By Melanie Chitwood
“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:14-16 (NLT)
Devotion:
I had resolved the previous week to be consistent in exercise and healthy eating. I had made this resolution many times before, only to revert to old patterns before the week’s end.
As I sat outside on the porch with my Bible and journal, I felt discouraged as I remembered the previous night’s overindulgence in, once again, my favorite chocolate chip cookies.
I wanted to have a quiet time, I wanted to talk to God in prayer and to read Scripture, but I felt somewhat ashamed. I thought to myself, Here I am again, Lord, with the same old problem. Aren’t you tired of me, Lord? I’m tired of me, so surely you must be, too. I’m tired of dealing with the same old problem over and over again.
Then God whispered to me, Talk to Me. Just pray and see what I can do. So I did. In the quietness of the morning, God reminded me of His thoughts toward me, not my own thoughts. God never gets tired of us, and His compassions are new every morning. As the verses in Hebrews 4 remind us, God understands. What comfort.
Better yet, as we look at today’s key verse we’re invited to “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.” Sometimes when I feel ashamed of myself, I am tempted to run from God rather than come humbly to His feet. I’m tempted to believe the lie that God is tired of me or has much more important issues to deal with. However, if I believe and act on these lies, I am missing out on the truth of whom God is and the reality of the kind of relationship He wants to have.
If I mistakenly believe that God is just tired of dealing with me, then I go away with just more of the same - more discouragement, more anxiety, more fretting. Worse yet, I’ll be missing out on what He is ready to give. I’ll miss out on His love, His grace, and His power.
Whatever problem we face, God’s very own power, the same power that raised Christ from the dead, is available to us. Our God is intimately acquainted with us, gracious and patient. He is ready to give all His resources to us, His children. Isn’t that amazing?
Let’s press on in truth and faith and “take the mercy, accept the help” (Hebrews 4:16 The Message). Then we’ll see what God can do with a heart that trusts Him.
Dear Lord, help me not to run from You when I feel ashamed or discouraged. Help me to believe that You always love me and are always ready to give me Your Help. Thank You for Your patience and Your lovingkindness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Song to share
Okay - you MUST listen to this song...Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin. Head to the bottom of the blog to the playlist, turn your speakers on and select it to play. AMAZING! (Karen, you're gonna love this if you haven't already heard it!)
What a gift God has given us - His grace...and now our chains are gone. Chains of defeat, chains of despair, chains of guilt, chains of pride, chains of selfishness, chains of sorrow, chains of the past...I may not be rid of my battle of selfishness, pride, guilt and more, BUT I now have the power of Christ to keep those chains from taking hold of me again.
Sing loud - sing proud - and know the victory we have when we give our lives to the ONE AND ONLY GOD!
What a gift God has given us - His grace...and now our chains are gone. Chains of defeat, chains of despair, chains of guilt, chains of pride, chains of selfishness, chains of sorrow, chains of the past...I may not be rid of my battle of selfishness, pride, guilt and more, BUT I now have the power of Christ to keep those chains from taking hold of me again.
Sing loud - sing proud - and know the victory we have when we give our lives to the ONE AND ONLY GOD!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Moved by the Spirit
As my son and I played ball this morning, God reminded me to be moved by the Spirit. Praise music was playing and when the song changed, my precious boy stopped playing ball to dance. At that moment nothing else mattered except moving to the music. He was lost in the moment, and God whispered to me, "Be like your child." So often I squash the Spirit's leading because of my environment or task at hand. I fear what others may think or how I may look. So often I am selfish and simply don't want to stop the fun I'm having. Father, give me the heart of a child. May I desire to be led by You regardless what else is going on. I want to dance for You. Amen.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Why me?
Today I have been struck by this question. Why have You given me so much? Why have I been so blessed? I do not deserve it. I have lived a charmed life. While there have been struggles, I haven't had true crisis...I mean even our road of infertility was relatively short and ended happily with a son and daughter (and maybe more one day). I've never wondered where money for a tank of gas will come from or how I will pay my rent/mortgage. I've never watched my husband fight for his life in the ICU. I've never wondered if my husband would be there in the morning. I've never felt the loss of a parent or sibling. I've never battled facing a new day. I don't know what it's like to have a child with unique challenges. I've never even taken my children to the ER. But I know others have...and I know others walk many other tough roads - a crumbling marriage, financial ruin, death, infertility, disabilities, severe illness, depression, and the list goes on. So why me? Why have you allowed me to live with such blessings? I am at a loss, and I pray that I am faithful with what you have entrusted to me.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
God is good
I've been silenced today with the reminder of the myriad of blessings I have been given in my family. My blessed husband who spent the last 3 days helping rebuild a church in New Orleans. My adorable children who challenge and humble me. We spent many moments today singing praise songs to Jesus - something my son loves to do. I love his love for singing and that he'll join me in dancing for our Lord.
Love Jesus, sweetheart. Love Jesus, my babies. Love Him with complete abandon. This is the cry of my heart.
Love Jesus, sweetheart. Love Jesus, my babies. Love Him with complete abandon. This is the cry of my heart.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Only Me
I had one of those moments today when I began to feel the world close in around me. This wasn't a big moment, but it was still beginning to suffocate. My mind immediately went to whom I could call to ask for prayer (I even dialed a number)...then I thought about sending an email to my gaggle of gals who pray so faithfully for me...then I thought about calling my husband asking him to come home early to make it all okay...and then I heard a voice inside reminding me that none of those options was the right one. I just stopped in the doorway of my kitchen crying out to my God with tears running down my face. "I can't do it anymore. I have to let go, and YOU are the only One that can help me do that."
How many times I've prayed those words; yet I still struggle to release complete control to Him. One pebble at a time and the mountain will be moved. I do consider it a victory that I cried out to Him, and Him only, instead of seeking solace from others.
How many times I've prayed those words; yet I still struggle to release complete control to Him. One pebble at a time and the mountain will be moved. I do consider it a victory that I cried out to Him, and Him only, instead of seeking solace from others.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Speaking through fleas
Have you ever tried to get rid of fleas? My first experience with this has been over the past couple of weeks. Here is a quick recap of what we have tried:
1. Bought over-the-counter monthly flea stuff for the dog
2. Applied it twice in one month
3. Got dog dipped at groomers
4. Had home and yard treated (fortunately at no cost since we are Terminix customers) - this involves vacuuming all furniture, washing or exposing of dog bedding, moving everything off the floor, thoroughly vacuuming all floors before they treat, then vacuuming every day after that for a week. Don't forget being gone from the house for 4 hours.
5. Buying flea shampoo and spray...bathing the dog as often as the shampoo allows and spraying the furniture.
Next step: getting the expensive stuff from the vet to treat her monthly now that 2 weeks have passed since the last dose - we didn't want to poison her!
I am so annoyed that I still find fleas, but they appear to almost indestructible. God has used this experience to speak very clearly to me...I know, you are wondering how God could speak through fleas!!!
As I labored vacuuming our floors and baseboards a couple of weeks ago preparing for treating our home, I was amazed at the dust/dirt that was hiding. Some of it wasn't really hiding, but I had simply ignored it for too long. Once the house was ready I simply waited upon the arrival of the Terminix man to do the heavy duty stuff. God reminded me how my heart and life can be just like my house. There are areas I don't tend to because they aren't readily visible to others. There are areas that get overlooked because I see them every day...and their unsightliness happens over a period of time. Just as my house needs a good deep cleaning each year along with regular cleaning, my heart, mind and soul require the same attention. Just as I didn't feel my house was really dirty until those pesky little creatures starting biting me, I often don't feel I am dirty until my anger/jealousy/bitterness/judgmental spirit begins to creep into my talk or my actions or becomes all consuming. Upon closer look, I soon realize how bad things have gotten thanks to my indifference on a daily basis. I have to spring clean my heart, mind and soul as well as tend to it on a regular basis; however, there are certain things that only the Professional can take care of...and that requires me to wait on Him.
And it isn't always a one-time treatment fix...sometimes I have to revisit the issue before it is truly gone. Fortunately the Professional will make as many house calls as I need!
1. Bought over-the-counter monthly flea stuff for the dog
2. Applied it twice in one month
3. Got dog dipped at groomers
4. Had home and yard treated (fortunately at no cost since we are Terminix customers) - this involves vacuuming all furniture, washing or exposing of dog bedding, moving everything off the floor, thoroughly vacuuming all floors before they treat, then vacuuming every day after that for a week. Don't forget being gone from the house for 4 hours.
5. Buying flea shampoo and spray...bathing the dog as often as the shampoo allows and spraying the furniture.
Next step: getting the expensive stuff from the vet to treat her monthly now that 2 weeks have passed since the last dose - we didn't want to poison her!
I am so annoyed that I still find fleas, but they appear to almost indestructible. God has used this experience to speak very clearly to me...I know, you are wondering how God could speak through fleas!!!
As I labored vacuuming our floors and baseboards a couple of weeks ago preparing for treating our home, I was amazed at the dust/dirt that was hiding. Some of it wasn't really hiding, but I had simply ignored it for too long. Once the house was ready I simply waited upon the arrival of the Terminix man to do the heavy duty stuff. God reminded me how my heart and life can be just like my house. There are areas I don't tend to because they aren't readily visible to others. There are areas that get overlooked because I see them every day...and their unsightliness happens over a period of time. Just as my house needs a good deep cleaning each year along with regular cleaning, my heart, mind and soul require the same attention. Just as I didn't feel my house was really dirty until those pesky little creatures starting biting me, I often don't feel I am dirty until my anger/jealousy/bitterness/judgmental spirit begins to creep into my talk or my actions or becomes all consuming. Upon closer look, I soon realize how bad things have gotten thanks to my indifference on a daily basis. I have to spring clean my heart, mind and soul as well as tend to it on a regular basis; however, there are certain things that only the Professional can take care of...and that requires me to wait on Him.
And it isn't always a one-time treatment fix...sometimes I have to revisit the issue before it is truly gone. Fortunately the Professional will make as many house calls as I need!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
God's Eyes
God’s Eyes
By Melanie Chitwood (from Encouragement for Today online devotional)
”For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV)
One of my favorite things to do is watch my twelve-year-old son Zachary play basketball. I’m his biggest fan. Even though he’s at an age when he’s easily embarrassed, I cheer as loudly as I can knowing my cheers encourage him. When I’m watching his game, I am completely focused on my son.
This is how God looks at each one of us. We, His children, are the focus of His attention. The Bible tells us in 2 Chronicles 16:9 exactly who God focuses on and why: “the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”
God’s focus is on “those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” I can just imagine God’s eyes searching for the woman who would become the mother to his son Jesus. Then He sees Mary, nods His head and says, That’s the one. I can imagine God searching for the person to have faith to build the Ark even though he’s never seen a drop of rain. Then He sees Noah, nods His head, and says that’s the one. Imagine Him searching for the person who would persevere in the wilderness for forty years. He sees Moses, nods his head, and says that’s the one
What are your thoughts as you imagine God’s eyes resting on you? Sometimes I’ve been unsure and even afraid of God’s eyes resting on me. I look at my failures and think I don’t measure up, that I won’t be the one God’s looking for. I see so clearly the days when I’ve selfishly thought of my own needs, instead of my husband’s. I see the days when I’ve spoken harsh words to my children, instead of responding with patience. I remember times when I’ve judged or criticized other women.
We have to be careful not to make this mistake. We have to believe what is true, not the lies and accusations of the enemy. God is not looking for the woman who’s perfect or serves in the most ministries. He’s not looking for the woman who never misses a quiet time with Him or who never doubts.
God is looking for the woman who’s fully committed to Him, a woman like you or me, whose heart is saying yes to God. Yes, I’ll love my husband for You, Lord. Yes, I’ll turn off the TV to read a Bible story to my kids. Yes, I’ll call a friend to encourage her. And yes, when I fail to do what You want me to do, I’ll confess my sin, receive Your forgiveness, and press on in faith.
God is our greatest cheerleader, not our greatest critic. When His eyes light on His children, they are eyes of compassion and lovingkindness, not criticism or judgment.
The verses in Chronicles tell us why God looks for us: He wants to strengthen us. His attention on His children is like that of a parent cheering in the stands. God’s focus says, You can do it! I believe in you!
So how do we become a woman fully committed to Him? Not by pretending we have no fear, relying on our own strength, or by striving to be perfect. We sit at His feet and worship and adore Him, thanking Him for the blessings in our lives. We pour out our hearts in confession to the Lord, read His word and obey His commands.
Then our hearts will be knit with His, and we will be women fully committed to Him. When God’s eyes search the whole earth, they’ll stop on us, He’ll nod His head, and He’ll say, “They’re the ones”.
By Melanie Chitwood (from Encouragement for Today online devotional)
”For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV)
One of my favorite things to do is watch my twelve-year-old son Zachary play basketball. I’m his biggest fan. Even though he’s at an age when he’s easily embarrassed, I cheer as loudly as I can knowing my cheers encourage him. When I’m watching his game, I am completely focused on my son.
This is how God looks at each one of us. We, His children, are the focus of His attention. The Bible tells us in 2 Chronicles 16:9 exactly who God focuses on and why: “the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”
God’s focus is on “those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” I can just imagine God’s eyes searching for the woman who would become the mother to his son Jesus. Then He sees Mary, nods His head and says, That’s the one. I can imagine God searching for the person to have faith to build the Ark even though he’s never seen a drop of rain. Then He sees Noah, nods His head, and says that’s the one. Imagine Him searching for the person who would persevere in the wilderness for forty years. He sees Moses, nods his head, and says that’s the one
What are your thoughts as you imagine God’s eyes resting on you? Sometimes I’ve been unsure and even afraid of God’s eyes resting on me. I look at my failures and think I don’t measure up, that I won’t be the one God’s looking for. I see so clearly the days when I’ve selfishly thought of my own needs, instead of my husband’s. I see the days when I’ve spoken harsh words to my children, instead of responding with patience. I remember times when I’ve judged or criticized other women.
We have to be careful not to make this mistake. We have to believe what is true, not the lies and accusations of the enemy. God is not looking for the woman who’s perfect or serves in the most ministries. He’s not looking for the woman who never misses a quiet time with Him or who never doubts.
God is looking for the woman who’s fully committed to Him, a woman like you or me, whose heart is saying yes to God. Yes, I’ll love my husband for You, Lord. Yes, I’ll turn off the TV to read a Bible story to my kids. Yes, I’ll call a friend to encourage her. And yes, when I fail to do what You want me to do, I’ll confess my sin, receive Your forgiveness, and press on in faith.
God is our greatest cheerleader, not our greatest critic. When His eyes light on His children, they are eyes of compassion and lovingkindness, not criticism or judgment.
The verses in Chronicles tell us why God looks for us: He wants to strengthen us. His attention on His children is like that of a parent cheering in the stands. God’s focus says, You can do it! I believe in you!
So how do we become a woman fully committed to Him? Not by pretending we have no fear, relying on our own strength, or by striving to be perfect. We sit at His feet and worship and adore Him, thanking Him for the blessings in our lives. We pour out our hearts in confession to the Lord, read His word and obey His commands.
Then our hearts will be knit with His, and we will be women fully committed to Him. When God’s eyes search the whole earth, they’ll stop on us, He’ll nod His head, and He’ll say, “They’re the ones”.
Monday, July 2, 2007
A twist on an oldie
Music speaks to me. It can touch places in my soul that just about nothing else can. Yesterday we sang a song after a powerful sermon that did just that. It's a twist on a very familiar hymn, and I thought I would share the words (I especially love the refrain repeated at the end):
I hear the Savior say
"Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all."
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow'r, and Thine alone,
Can change a leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone.
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete
"Jesus died my soul to save"
My lips shall still repeat.
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
I hear the Savior say
"Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all."
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow'r, and Thine alone,
Can change a leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone.
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete
"Jesus died my soul to save"
My lips shall still repeat.
Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Why me?
I met another sister in Christ tonight trying to get pregnant again. After a long battle with infertility, God blessed her and her husband with a little boy in August 2005. They long to increase their family again, but know the road could be long. Another name added to the sisters I pray for almost daily. How I long for them each to be protected from the heartache and pitfalls I experienced.
As I drove home pondering our conversation and admiring the clear night sky, I found myself asking God why He chose to bless us as He did. Funny, I used to ask the "why me?" question when I wondered if we would ever have a family. Now, I am so humbled that He has doubly blessed us with these two amazing children...and our road was no where near the struggle others have walked. How dare I ever complain about sleepless nights or toddler attitudes. Shame on me. The only words that came to mind were:
Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
As I drove home pondering our conversation and admiring the clear night sky, I found myself asking God why He chose to bless us as He did. Funny, I used to ask the "why me?" question when I wondered if we would ever have a family. Now, I am so humbled that He has doubly blessed us with these two amazing children...and our road was no where near the struggle others have walked. How dare I ever complain about sleepless nights or toddler attitudes. Shame on me. The only words that came to mind were:
Indescribable, uncontainable, You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Never Give Up on Me
This song spoke to me the first time I heard it while watching Facing the Giants, and again the other day it touched my soul as God reminded me that He never gives up on me. If you would like to listen to it, simply visit: http://www.myspace.com/joshbatesmusic (you will have to select the song on the player).
Time after time You've been left behind
Like the sun when it's starting to rain
Time after time You've been forgotten
Like a picture that's faded with age
Time after time You ran after me
When I was still running away
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
Time after time I've used Your grace
As a way to do what I please
I've taken for granted
Prayers that You answered
And never been all I could be
You are holding out Your hands
And now I clearly see
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
Never give up, never give up on me
Time after time You've been left behind
Like the sun when it's starting to rain
Time after time You've been forgotten
Like a picture that's faded with age
Time after time You ran after me
When I was still running away
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
Time after time I've used Your grace
As a way to do what I please
I've taken for granted
Prayers that You answered
And never been all I could be
You are holding out Your hands
And now I clearly see
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I'm weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me
Never give up, never give up on me
Monday, June 11, 2007
Ezer kenegdo
This is from the Ransomed Heart by John Eldredge, page 94. It hit this control-freak with much force!
Eve is given to Adam as his ezer kenegdo - or as many translations have it, his "help meet" or "helper." Doesn't sound like much, does it? It makes me think of Hamburger Helper. But Robert Alter says this is "a notoriously difficult word to translate." It means something far more powerful than just "helper": it means "lifesaver." The phrase is only used elsewhere of God, when you need him to come through for you desperately. "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you" (Deut. 33:26). Eve is a life giver; she is Adam's ally. It is to both of them that the charter for adventure is given. It will take both of them to sustain life. And they will both need to fight together.
Eve is deceived...and rather easily, as my friend Jan Meyers points out. In The Allure of Hope, Jan says, "Eve was convinced that God was withholding something from her." Not even the extravagance of Eden could convince her that God's heart is good. "When Eve was [deceived], the artistry of being a woman took a fateful dive into the barren places of control and loneliness." Now every daughter of Eve wants to "control her surroundings, her relationships, her God." No longer is she vulnerable; now she will be grasping. No longer does she want simply to share in the adventure; now she wants to control it. And as for her beauty, she either hides it in fear and anger, or she uses it to secure her place in world. "In our fear that no one will speak on our behalf or protect us or fight for us, we start to recreate both ourselves and our role in the story. We manipulate our surroundings so we don't feel so defenseless." Fallen Eve either becomes rigid or clingy. Put simply Eve is no longer simply inviting. She is either hiding in busyness or demanding that Adam come through for her; usually, an odd combination of both.
Eve is given to Adam as his ezer kenegdo - or as many translations have it, his "help meet" or "helper." Doesn't sound like much, does it? It makes me think of Hamburger Helper. But Robert Alter says this is "a notoriously difficult word to translate." It means something far more powerful than just "helper": it means "lifesaver." The phrase is only used elsewhere of God, when you need him to come through for you desperately. "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you" (Deut. 33:26). Eve is a life giver; she is Adam's ally. It is to both of them that the charter for adventure is given. It will take both of them to sustain life. And they will both need to fight together.
Eve is deceived...and rather easily, as my friend Jan Meyers points out. In The Allure of Hope, Jan says, "Eve was convinced that God was withholding something from her." Not even the extravagance of Eden could convince her that God's heart is good. "When Eve was [deceived], the artistry of being a woman took a fateful dive into the barren places of control and loneliness." Now every daughter of Eve wants to "control her surroundings, her relationships, her God." No longer is she vulnerable; now she will be grasping. No longer does she want simply to share in the adventure; now she wants to control it. And as for her beauty, she either hides it in fear and anger, or she uses it to secure her place in world. "In our fear that no one will speak on our behalf or protect us or fight for us, we start to recreate both ourselves and our role in the story. We manipulate our surroundings so we don't feel so defenseless." Fallen Eve either becomes rigid or clingy. Put simply Eve is no longer simply inviting. She is either hiding in busyness or demanding that Adam come through for her; usually, an odd combination of both.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Full circle
The other morning as I began to pray for a friend who longs to have a child, I realized what an honor God has given me. You see almost 4 years ago we asked our LifeGroup to pray for us as we longed for a child. We had been trying for 18 months with no success and were beginning the medical road to figure out what was going on. These blessed friends, along with many others, rallied around us for another 2 years praying God would give us the desire of our hearts, and then rejoiced with us as we welcomed our blessed gift into our lives. Nineteen months after greeting our son, we welcomed a daughter into our hearts. We joked that our friends had prayed too hard!
Now, I have the honor of praying for 4 different friends who desire to have a child. Some of them already have a child/children. Others wonder if they will ever know the joy of motherhood. What an awesome privilege to take the cries of their hearts to the One who so abundantly loves us all. I can't think of a better way to thank them for the prayers they lifted on our behalf.
Father, grant them each with the joy of a child; but more importantly give them confidence in Your plan as they live lives that honor You. May they feel Your hand when overcome with longing, and may they know they are complete in You.
Now, I have the honor of praying for 4 different friends who desire to have a child. Some of them already have a child/children. Others wonder if they will ever know the joy of motherhood. What an awesome privilege to take the cries of their hearts to the One who so abundantly loves us all. I can't think of a better way to thank them for the prayers they lifted on our behalf.
Father, grant them each with the joy of a child; but more importantly give them confidence in Your plan as they live lives that honor You. May they feel Your hand when overcome with longing, and may they know they are complete in You.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Humbled
Uncle Randy once said that if you don't use the gifts God gave you for His glory, the gifts will go away. For him, it was his ability to play guitar. For me, it is my ability to write.
As long as I can remember I have been known for my way with words. I recall being singled out in high school for the unique introductions in my papers (the best I think was using the analogy of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly when talking about the rise of the Civil War) and even being asked to write for Bible studies and a youth magazine. I get it honestly from two generations of women before me who also love the pen. I love to write - I would write song lyrics, poems, cards, and simple quotes. This love helped me breeze through my communication degree; yet as time has gone on , this love has become more of a secret love. It is the dream I held on to, but didn't really share. I would love to write a book or a devotional book. I would love to write short stories (my grandmother wrote many stories that were never published) or a novel. Not many people know that...because I have hidden that desire away for fear of being rejected or blown off.
Lately, I've heard a lot of praise about the use of words, about the ability to draw you in and tell a story, about gut-wrenching letters, and even encouragement to write a book. Humbling part for me? Not one of those things has been said about me.
I've been asking God why those comments bothered me so much. I know He gave me the gift of words for a reason, but I seem to have lost myself somewhere along the way. What have I learned? 1) I grew prideful of my ability. 2) I used my words for my own gratification instead of pointing others to Him. 3) I wanted the glory for myself (why I noticed nothing great was being said about my writing!). 4) I edit myself too much. I long so much to pen a perfect phrase or capture it the perfect way that I end up editing myself to death.
So I have been humbled as the use of words isn't as easy as it used to be...and I've been humbled as I realize that I haven't been all God wants me to be. Only God knows who might have been touched and shown His grace and mercy if only I allowed Him to use the gift He gave me.
As long as I can remember I have been known for my way with words. I recall being singled out in high school for the unique introductions in my papers (the best I think was using the analogy of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly when talking about the rise of the Civil War) and even being asked to write for Bible studies and a youth magazine. I get it honestly from two generations of women before me who also love the pen. I love to write - I would write song lyrics, poems, cards, and simple quotes. This love helped me breeze through my communication degree; yet as time has gone on , this love has become more of a secret love. It is the dream I held on to, but didn't really share. I would love to write a book or a devotional book. I would love to write short stories (my grandmother wrote many stories that were never published) or a novel. Not many people know that...because I have hidden that desire away for fear of being rejected or blown off.
Lately, I've heard a lot of praise about the use of words, about the ability to draw you in and tell a story, about gut-wrenching letters, and even encouragement to write a book. Humbling part for me? Not one of those things has been said about me.
I've been asking God why those comments bothered me so much. I know He gave me the gift of words for a reason, but I seem to have lost myself somewhere along the way. What have I learned? 1) I grew prideful of my ability. 2) I used my words for my own gratification instead of pointing others to Him. 3) I wanted the glory for myself (why I noticed nothing great was being said about my writing!). 4) I edit myself too much. I long so much to pen a perfect phrase or capture it the perfect way that I end up editing myself to death.
So I have been humbled as the use of words isn't as easy as it used to be...and I've been humbled as I realize that I haven't been all God wants me to be. Only God knows who might have been touched and shown His grace and mercy if only I allowed Him to use the gift He gave me.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Praise Him, Praise Him
I'm learning so much about praising God from my son. He learned a new song Monday that he loves for us to sing:
Praise Him, praise Him (imagine his little arms swaying back and forth in front of him)
All ye little children (now he is waving them up and down excitedly)
God is love (one arm a bit up toward God, then he touches his tummy)
God is love
Repeat
He gets so excited when I start to sing and his smile is from ear to ear! I think the best part is that I find him singing it at various times without any prompting from me. While we were on a walk Monday afternoon, I glanced down and found him doing the motions and saying some of the words all on his own. I have also found him singing Jesus Loves Me at random times. He will stop in the middle of playing to sing. He will stop walking to sing. He just feels like singing, and so he does. I know God's heart swells when He hears praise from this little one, and I know God desires for me to stop as well throughout my day to praise Him. My boy isn't too busy to sing, and neither am I.
Praise Him, praise Him, all ye little children. God is love. God is love.
Praise Him, praise Him (imagine his little arms swaying back and forth in front of him)
All ye little children (now he is waving them up and down excitedly)
God is love (one arm a bit up toward God, then he touches his tummy)
God is love
Repeat
He gets so excited when I start to sing and his smile is from ear to ear! I think the best part is that I find him singing it at various times without any prompting from me. While we were on a walk Monday afternoon, I glanced down and found him doing the motions and saying some of the words all on his own. I have also found him singing Jesus Loves Me at random times. He will stop in the middle of playing to sing. He will stop walking to sing. He just feels like singing, and so he does. I know God's heart swells when He hears praise from this little one, and I know God desires for me to stop as well throughout my day to praise Him. My boy isn't too busy to sing, and neither am I.
Praise Him, praise Him, all ye little children. God is love. God is love.
Monday, May 7, 2007
I Surrender All
I surrender all (my hopes, dreams, plans, agenda)
I surrender all (my husband, my children, my family)
All to Thee, my blessed Savior
I surrender all (my home, my car, my money, my time - everything You have given me I lay before You)
I surrender all (my husband, my children, my family)
All to Thee, my blessed Savior
I surrender all (my home, my car, my money, my time - everything You have given me I lay before You)
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Missing a plain ol' pity party
I miss my old pity parties. Why? I'm sure you ask. As God continues to reveal my seemingly unending selfishness and self-righteousness, my pity parties have changed. I used to feel sorry for myself and dissect how everyone else was wrong. I usually ended up pretty proud of how I would never handle a situation that way or whatever. Now, just moments after I get out the party hats and streamers, God begins to bring to mind how I am in the wrong and how I should adjust my thinking, attitude, or actions to bring peace to the situation. This brings me to my knees seeking forgiveness and yet fighting my flesh which demands my rights be taken care of first. I end up exhausted at the end of these parties and usually not feeling all that great about myself; however, I know that I am becoming more like Him which is why I am keenly aware of my shortcomings. Catch 22...but definitely worth the loss of such "fun" parties!
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